Just the Thing

A few months after graduating when still

searching for a job I went to a recruiting

seminar for a company that sold knives

and was hunting for sales reps and during

the demonstration a guy in a suit held up

a blade and said "this baby will cut through

whale bone." That's right: whale bone. 

Eyes went wide, I can tell you. I didn't ask

if this had been verified experimentally.

I was too busy thinking about my sales

strategy. "Sir, if ever you find yourself in

the Smithsonian and you have this baby

with you then you won't have to worry 

about the skeleton of a humpback whale

falling from the ceiling and trapping you

and your family in its ribcage--you could

hack right through with this knife! I'm 

sure it would work on mastodon as well."

Or: "No, ma'am, this knife is far too 

dangerous for cutting onions. However,

if ever you need a marrow sample from

a whale carcass washed up on a beach,

this is just the thing!"

They passed the knives around and when

one came to me I was extra careful, fearing

it would cut right through my act.