The ride I was on had a critical
malfunction and I was plummeting
to my death when a park employee
with a megaphone shouted at me
to hold up my arms and I thought
you have got to be kidding but he
said it again with greater urgency--
hold up your arms!--so I did just
as he said and wouldn't you know
the safety bar went up with a snap
and the ride slowed to a crawl so
I was no longer falling to my doom
but floating down to the platform
as though in a hot air balloon that
had just traversed the Sahara but
the guy on the platform, a college
kid maybe, was standing there with
his arms crossed and I thought oh
great, here comes the lecture.
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